Written as a sequel to Cntrl;alt;delete and after a
fun filled weekend with my pals.
Disclaimer. I don't own Starsky or Hutch dammit, but
I am owned by Creedo and Brook, my bestest friends
The two detectives awoke with a start. With heads pounding
and with the metallic taste of drugs painting their tongues, both realised that once again they’d been taken –
suckered. The last thing Hutch remembered was checking out the house in the ordinary suburban street. It had been a routine
call on a routine day in down town Bay City when they’d gotten the message from the Metro.
‘Zebra three, Zebra three tac two for Captain
Dobey. Please pick up and respond.’
With an air of someone who was hoping he could slope off
early for the day, Starsky grabbed the mic. from the dash and pressed the receive button.
‘Mildred honey, have a heart. We’ve been
on duty since 7:00 this mornin’ I’m bushed. I just want a beef burrito, a cold beer an’ a shower. Not necessarily
in that order.’
‘Sorry honey. The Captain says this one has
your and Hutch’s name written all over it.’
‘Your lips have my name written all over it
sweetheart’ the brunet responded. He didn’t hear the soft click of the line transferring and a moment later a
gruff and very masculine voice answered.
‘I’m fond of you too Starsky, but I aint
gonna be kissin’ ya any time soon.’
At his side Hutch snickered and took the receiver from his
buddy’s hand. ‘Sorry about that Cap’n. Starsky’s been eatin’ the Budgie seed again. He’s
feelin’ a little frisky. What d’ya got for us?’
I need you back down at the metro prompt. Don’t stop,
don’t answer the mic. an’ for Gods sake don’t stop at any red lights. I need you both here fast. I’m
takin’ you into protective custody.’
‘Protective cu…..oh now hold on Cap’n.
What’re ya talkin’ about protective custody? Why? Gunther’s servin’ life in Folsom. Forest has been
gone some time. Who the hell would….’
Dobey’s voice cut him dead. ‘I
don’t wanna say anythin’ over the air. Suffice it to say you’ve met her before an’ she’s just
about the most dangerous flake we’ve come across so far. When I said I want you back here, I mean back here right now.
Ya got that?’
The two detectives exchanged knowing glances. Ever since
Starsky had been trapped inside the ordinary looking house a while ago while Hutch had been physically kept from his partner
by powers unknown, the brunet had been unsure of himself, wincing away from bright lights and whimpering softly when he saw
tall, slim blond women coming towards him. Hutch had been beside himself with anger as he’d been locked out of that
basement that day back in June. He’d pounded again and again on the door as he heard the low moans of the women down
there, the entreaties to “Oh my God, do that again” and the curly haired cop’s pained voice telling them
that there was no way he’d be ready again for another half an hour at least. It had cut the blond cop to the quick to
hear his partner suffering while he was unable to do anything about it, and now he recalled the months of therapy both he
had Starsky had endured to get them mentally well enough to be back on the streets.
Starsky swallowed hard, his eyes on the road
and his hands gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles were quiet white.
‘It’s her, aint it?’ he asked softly.
‘I think so buddy. Here, let me get the light
huh? We need to get back downtown right now.’
‘Starsk? Starsky are you ok buddy?’ Hutch sat up
and winced at the dull thud in his head, trying to lift his hands to run his fingers through his hair. He was stopped by the
silver handcuffs in place around his wrists and he cursed softly.
A low moan at his side told the blond all he needed to know
about his friend and as he looked he saw that the brunet was similarly restrained. He shuffled over to the smaller man and
nudged him gently. Starsky groaned low in his throat as his eyes flickered open and carefully he sat himself up and looked
around, grimacing at the familiar, gut wrenching surroundings. The dark walls, the desks arranged around the perimeter of
the subterranean room and the tall stool in the centre of the room all gave testament to the fact that they were back, this
time, it seemed for good. He locked eyes with his partner and sighed wearily.
‘Seems like we’ve been this way before.’
The duo made it back to the Metro in record
time and as they pulled up outside the big stone building four uniformed officers ran out to greet them, pulling their weapons
and checking the surroundings as they ushered the detectives inside the police headquarters. Rushing up the stairs, they headed
to the familiar office attached to the squad room and pushed open the door without knocking. Dobey looked up in relief as
they walked in and the uniforms stayed outside, guarding the entrance.
As they entered the room, Starsky cast a sidelong look at
his partner and stifled a snicker. Two women sat on chairs across from the police Captain and as Hutch pulled up a chair and
sat down, Starsky perched on the arm, looking from the women to the Captain and back.
‘So what’s the Twisted Sisters doin’
here?’ he asked angrily.
The women looked at each other and the blond one had the
grace to blush. Both were a whisker short of 5’2” with long hair, but one had flowing brunet locks while the other’s
thick golden hair swung around her shoulders. The women were comfortably built and while one had a Californian drawl, the
other spoke in a clipped British accent.
‘You’ve met?’ Dobey asked
‘Oh yeah. We’ve met’ Starsky snapped.
‘Aint we, gals?’
‘I think we owe you an explanation’ the
dark haired woman started. ‘Tell him Creedo’
The blond woman opened her mouth as though starting to say
something and then ducked her head down, biting back the words with a strangled cry. She twiddled with her fringe and pushed
it back, but refused to look either man in the eye. The brunette woman sighed. ‘You’ll have to bear with her.
In her previous “job” she um. Well we both um….. wrote stories about um….’
‘Us, yeah, I know’ which one of ya thought
of the rash then huh?’ Hutch asked, scratching subconsciously at an area around the family jewels.
Without speaking the woman called Creedo pointed a finger
at her friend and snickered.
‘And the torture scenes? The beatin’s;
the whips. They hurt ya know!’
Creedo nudged her buddy. Tell him Janet. Tell
him about her – what she made us do.’
Janet smiled self consciously. ‘She’s
right. It wasn’t us. She made us do it. We’d be happily going about our business and suddenly we’d get a
message. You’ve no idea what it’s like living a double life. One minute mild mannered dental nurse or courtroom
worker, the next, she’d utter those four little words “I have an idea”. And then all hell would break loose.
You’ve no idea’
Starsky fixed Janet with a glare. ‘Yeah
we do lady. We were the ones who had to live through it remember? The dog bites, the beatin’s. Hell, how I ever got
off the heroin I’ll never know! You could at least have written a bathroom into the story! You really tellin’
us that this wasn’t your fault?’
‘No, honest’ Creedo squeaked. ‘We’d
never really want to do that to you. We um… we love ya really.’
‘Ya got a funny way of showin’ it’
Hutch snarled. ‘Have you any idea what it’s like in Cabrillo State?’
Dobey held his hand up. ‘Maybe I should
‘Uh huh. and pretty quick coz otherwise I’m
outa here’ Starsky said, tapping his fingers on the back of the chair.
‘Ok ok settle down Starsky. These ladies have
been double agents all along. Agent Welsh and Agent Creedo have been undercover working for Miss Brook for a few years now.
They’ve successfully infiltrated her lair, but unfortunately, Miss Brook held them hostage in her basement for quite
‘About 60 stories, to be accurate’ Janet
‘Uh huh, and every one of ‘em hurt’
the burnet whined. Janet smiled nervously and blushed, looking away from the piercing gaze.
‘I’m sorry. It’s just. When she
has us chained to the desks by our ankles and she fixes us with those big blue eyes and says “Yous guys gotta write
faster” it’s very hard to resist.
‘She took my foot stool away once as a punishment’
Creedo whined. ‘and she wouldn’t let me have a manicure for a month. She confiscated all my eye shadow and mascara
and forced me to eat Rainbow Cones.’ The little blond woman shuddered at the memory. ‘I was awful.’
The two detectives couldn’t help but smile as Creedo
buried herself in Janet’s ample bosom while the brunette stroked her hair. ‘S’ok honey. I’ll put a
French braid in your hair later. Don’t cry huh?’
Creedo sat up and wiped her nose on her sleeve
bravely. Taking a deep breath she looked around. ‘I’m ok’ she said resolutely and took up the story.
‘So this is the thing. While we were undercover,
she brainwashed us. We couldn’t do anything else but write stories and her tastes got more and more depraved. She demanded
pain and sex and then more sex until finally we knew we had to get out. So one night, we bribed the pool boy to have his way
with her, thus distracting her while we escaped.
Starsky raised his eyebrows. ‘The pool
‘Oh my God yes’ Creedo nodded. ‘She
has them all down there. The pool boy, the phone man, the man who comes to service the hot tub. To be honest it was getting
‘But there was another woman there when she
had us’ Hutch said thoughtfully.
‘Uh huh. Shawne. She managed to write a cloud
into one of her stories, so that she could reel it in and float away’ Janet said. ‘God I wish I’d thought
of that. I was just so tired!’
‘So how did you escape?’ Starsky asked
becoming drawn into their story against his will.
‘Oh that was easy. We both ended up completing
our stories – well, Creedo still has one chapter left….’
The blond nodded. ‘Yeah, I’ve been led on that
floor for a month now. Get me some help for God’s sake will ya?’
Creedo nodded furiously but refused to look
the handsome blond in the yes.
‘Anyway’, Janet continued. ‘Mah
Mah – that’s what she made us call her – was so pleased that we got double rations of Ben and Jerry’s
that night and with the tubs came those little plastic spoons. So we used them to start a tunnel. I dug and Creedo put all
the dirt down her bra and up her knicker leg so that she could hide it. The pool boy helped, but the poor hot tub repair man
was too far gone for us to save him. By morning, we’d managed to dig through to the outside and we bribed Miss Brook's
dog with a scrap of meat and ran. Now we’re here.’
‘Wow. Some story! Have you had any debriefing?’
the curly haired cop asked.
‘Starsky! Have you got a one track mind? My
god, these poor women have only been….. Oh, sorry’ Dobey stopped himself, blushing furiously. ‘I thought
you meant….never mind.’
Starsky gave the Captain a look which said
that on occasions his mind could be tempted out his impossibly tight jeans and into the innocent open. ‘I meant, are
they gonna get some therapy for this?’
‘Yeah, sure. But first, we have to go get Miss
Brook. And that’s where you two come in.’
Hutch stood up suddenly. ‘Oh no. uh uh.
I’m never goin’ near that woman again. There are some things that are just askin’ too much Cap’n,
and that’s’ one of ‘em.’
Slowly the two women stood and came to stand in between
Starsky and Hutch, snaking their arms around the cops waists and looking up into crystal and indigo eyes with two pairs of
‘Please. Pretty please. We don’t just
write the nasty stuff. Remember the hot sex…..Anise…..Sarah…..Bria. that was us too. We were forced to write
that, but f you didn’t like it, we could write something else. Just give us a piece of paper and a laptop….’
Janet said seductively standing on tip toe to reach for a chocolate covered curl.
Starsky sighed. ‘You wrote all that?
The um…..and the…..oh my God, where do ya get that stuff?’
‘You didn’t like it?’ Creedo asked.
Hutch snickered softly. ‘Oh we liked
it lady. We just didn’t appreciate um…..’ he coughed self consciously. ‘Yeah, we liked it well enough.’
‘Well enough to help us?’
The two men locked eyes, silently communicating and slowly
they sat down. ‘Talk to us’ Hutch said softly.
The door to the basement opened and Starsky cringed away behind
the tall bulk of his partner. He felt Hutch’s body stiffen as the slim, blond figure dressed entirely in black leather
walked slinkily down the stairs.
‘Don’t let her take me buddy. She’s insatiable.
You’ve no idea! Whips I can handle. I can even deal with the drugs if I have to. But it’s when she makes ‘em
write in that four poster bed…..and the flying helmet and the wet celery….. She just seems to know what turns
Hutch put a protective arm around his buddy. ‘Sssh. S’ok
Starsky I’ll…..What? Flying helmet and wet celery? What the hell? No, never mind, tell me later’ he said
as the brunet blushed.
The flaxen haired cop stared into the face of Miss Brook, never
flinching as he eyes bored into his. ‘What’re ya gonna do with us lady?’ he asked, a slight waver in his
‘I’m gonna have fun. I’m gonna…..’
Brook was stopped by the ringing of her phone and she sighed. ‘Damn. Hold on a moment. Talk amongst yourselves huh?’
she said as she answered the mobile.
The two men relaxed, chatting about the weather, their vacation,
why this was the year 2008 and yet they still didn’t look any older. Small, insignificant little snippets of talk until
the woman hung up on her call and fixed them with her steely gaze. Immediately, they were once again transfixed by her and
went back to their shivering and shaking.
‘We need to nail her buddy. She’s too
dangerous to be left out on the streets. God knows who else she’ll harm. With any luck it’ll be those two bozos
from Supernatural, but you can never tell’ Starsky said quietly.
Creedo immediately looked up. ‘What?
Supernatural? Jensen? Jared? Oh. My. God. Yummmm.’ Immediately remembering where she was, the small Californian coloured,
dipped her head down and mumbled something about being sorry as the two detectives continued.
Dobey snickered and carried on to explain the
plan. Starsky and his partner were to accompany Creedo and Janet to Miss Brook’s centre of operations in Chicago. While
the two women infiltrated the house, taking away all signs of laptops, computers, typewriters, pen and paper, Starsky would
distract Brook while Hutch dealt with the dog. The blond held up his hand.
‘Hold on one cotton pickin’ minute. You
get the femme fatale and I get the dog?’
Starsky grinned. ‘Hey if you want to
be tied down to the bed and forced to…. What am I sayin’ Course I get Brook and you get the dog! I’ve never
been one to refuse to take one for the team. Some jobs, ya just have to suck it up!’
Dobey interrupted. ‘OK ok, Starsky. Can
it. This is the most difficult assignment you’ve ever undertaken. I want you men prepared ok? You leave today –
in four hours to be precise. Go home, shower, change, check your weapons…..guns Starsky!’ he said as the brunet
looked down at his jeans ‘and be careful. I want you back in one piece. Got that?’
The two detectives stood. ‘Yeah, we got it Cap’n.
Arrest the blond and make it back in one piece. But make sure we look nice along the way.’ They headed for the door
as Creedo coughed behind them
‘Um…..do you need anyone to scrub your
back?’ she asked hopefully as Janet elbowed her out of the way.
Brook walked into the centre of the room, licking the crumbs
from her MacDonald’s hamburger off her thumb delicately. She walked around each man in turn as all the bravado left
the brunet and he cringed away from her slim hand as it trailed over his shoulders. He whimpered once and then clamped his
mouth shut, refusing to let the blond woman know how much she intimidated him. She stopped in front of Hutch.
‘So, yous guys thought you could escape me, did you?’
Brook asked in a broad Chicagoan accent.
‘We um…..we came to arrest you’ Hutch said
bravely, waving his cuffed wrists in her direction. In the corner of the room, the hot tub repair man gave a stifled moan
and looked away, unable to witness the two men’s fate.
‘Arrest me? Looks to me like you’re my prisoners.’
‘Uh huh. That’s what we wanted you to think. But
we have a secret weapon. Well two actually. Ladies, why don’t you come downstairs’ Hutch’s voice rose as
he called for Janet and Creedo.
Brook snickered. ‘Stupid guys. You’re all the same.
You’ll believe anything when a pretty woman tells you. Well let me tell you, you’ve been suckered big time. Creedo
and Janet aren’t with the FBI alone you know. They’re double agents – have been all along. And I have a
The blond pointed to a dark corner of the room where a man
wearing IBM coveralls sat stunned, his head in his hands. Snapping her fingers, Brook called upstairs. ‘Janet, Creedo,
get out of the pool now girls. Time to go to work. See what Mah Mah bought for you today.’
A moment later, two dripping wet forms appeared on the basement
stairs. Without looking up at the two detectives or at their wicked boss, they silently walked to the corner, collected brand
new laptops and obediently sat at their assigned desks as Brook once more fitted the balls and chains to their ankles.
‘Ok ladies. You’ve had your vacation, now back
to work. Creedo, I believe you have a scenario at a bank waiting for our two men……and Janet, wasn’t Starsky
gonna get real sick some time soon?’ With an evil glint in her eye, Brook trailed her hand over the two men’s
‘I want them semi naked now. Write me in a bed, some
chains, a glass of pop (no ice) and a nice long tailed whip. Now the fun begins.’
From each corner of the room, a muted ‘Yes Mah Mah’
echoed as the requisite items appeared at the rattle of laptop keys.
Starsky glanced and Hutch and sighed. ‘What, no flying
helmet this time? No wet celery? Damn.’
As they found themselves miraculously on the bed with Brook
in between them, Hutch snickered and snuggled into Brook’s chest.
‘Some you win, and some you lose. Pass me a laptop. Maybe
we can join in this time.’