What Were They Thinking Part 5

Author’s Note: Those of you who read the last one know, all type in italic is what they are really thinking.



“Zebra 3, Zebra 3 this is dispatch, how do you read me?” Mildred’s voice cut into the silence of the evening that both detectives were enjoying as the heard what she really meant: Starsky, Hutch…wake up, it’s time to do some real police work, Time to get in touch with your roots…


Half the department was out with the ‘Blue Flu’ and in order to cover demand, Starsky and Hutch were called upon to help cover some of the more menial calls of the day, although there Captain tried to blow enough smoke up their ass to make them believe there were no ‘menial’ calls. Hutch reached for the hand piece.


“10-4 dispatch, this is Zebra 3, we read you, go ahead.” He spoke clearly in the mic, really meaning…What the hell do you want? The little old lady on Fifth and Vine get her newspaper stolen again?


“Zebra 3, see the man, 415E in progress, 2275 Alcedo Dr. Respond Code 1,” Mildred smiled on the other end, enjoying having her two favorite detectives jumping at her whim, and at her discretion. How about my two favorite men, see the man who wants to complain that others are having fun, cause his life is probably so miserable and pathetic, that you two will be his ONLY visitors this month…By the way, no hurry.


“10-4, Zebra 3 responding.” Hutch answered as he looked at his brunet partner, who sighed in frustration and started his car. Will do girly, By the way, I think you’re pissin’ Starsky off…


“This had better be good…” Starsky warned. I better not be wasting my gas, my time, tax payers money to break up a party on Super Bowl Sunday when I can’t even stay home to watch the game…or this poor sap that made this complaint is gonna be sorry…


They made their way leisurely through the city’s traffic, arriving at their destination about 20 minutes later. They parked the Torino out front as both officers got out of the car and looked up at the tall beige apartment complex in front of them. They could already hear the noise and whoops and hollers coming from the building as it sounded like the game was in full swing. Hutch looked at Starsky who just shrugged in frustration as the pair headed inside.


They slowly made their way upstairs to the third floor and weren’t surprised to be stopped right at the landing. A small man, balding and with glasses, nervously approached the two dedicated officers.


“Are you two coming to break up the party?” He asked as Starsky looked at his partner and then back at the homely man before them dressed in a sweat pants, slippers and wrapped with a flannel robe that was most probably a gift from his mother to keep the women away from her little boy. “I’m Henry Bolstadt, and I called you guys…They’ve been carrying on for nearly two hours…” He whined.        


“The nerve...” Starsky said sarcastically, “an’ on Super Bowl Sunday an’ all…” The brunet shrugged earning him a snort from his blond counterpart as they headed down the hall, the mousy man on their heels.


The music echoed through the hallway as they easily found the apartment in question. “How you wanna handle this?” Starsky asked Hutch as they ignored their friend.


Both men couldn’t resist messing with the little fink that hung on their every word.


“Looks to me like we got a 415E with a possible 407 an’ maybe even some 390’s inside, I think we need to perform a 602.5 and end the 507.” He stated as the complainant’s eyes widened with their police codes and jargons.


Starsky smiled as he understood his partner’s statement to mean: These people are having a party, possibly breaking a couple of laws, with a few inebriated people inside, an’ we are about to bust in, unannounced and stop their fun…this sucks…


“Y…you really think it’s that serious?” The small man stamme5red as Hutch towered over him.


“Oh yes, I’m sure of it…” Hutch assured the man as he backed him up slightly in the name of protecting the innocent.


Starsky knocked on the door, his call going unanswered as both officers realized that they probably couldn’t hear their rapping. Bravely Starsky reached down and tried the door handle, relieved and slightly worried about finding it unlocked. He didn’t like the idea of ‘surprising’ a bunch of drunken football fans. Sometime their reactions could be unexpected.


“I think you better wait here Henry.” Starsky warned the little fink. “Let me an’ my partner here handle the 10-103…” The brunet winked at the good upstanding citizen.


“W…well yes Sir, what ever you say…” He stumbled down the hall. “I’ll wait down here in case you guys need me.”


“You just do that.” Hutch agreed as he smiled at his partner.


Starsky flashed a crooked smile as he gingerly opened the door, pushing on it slowly, trying not to startle anyone. “Excuse me…” He shouted out to anyone within ear shot. “BCPD here…”


With a simple nod from his partner, they both withdrew their badges, holding them up in front of them as they entered the residence. The door closed behind them as Henry stayed put, just like he promised.


Inside the fairly large, spacious apartment, Starsky and Hutch heard most of the noise coming from the other room. Several women’s voices, screams mixed with laughter. Curiosity got the best of both officers as Hutch raised his eyebrow at the brunet. Sounded like these women truly loved football by the sound of the excitement in their shouts and comments.


“Way ta’ go!” They heard one female shout.


“Go all the way!” Another yelled.


“Atta boy! Show ‘em whatcha got!”


There was a series of whoops and hollers and both officers were sure that some one had made the play of the game; they must have scored big based on the women’s responses…


Starsky and Hutch made their way into the main living room of the apartment and were shocked at what they saw. The room was filled with young, mostly beautiful women, at least 20 of them. They were all dressed nice, cocktails in hand, and at the center of the room, and the center of their attention was not a TV showing the big game, but instead was a man, one single man. His physique cut, his bare chest exposing a tan muscular build. Around his neck, nothing but a bow tie. His abs revealed something from a body building magazine as both detectives looked on. His tiny briefs left nothing to anyone’s imagination as he danced for the women who could not look away.


Hutch immediately blushed realizing that they were not about to break up a super bowl party, but instead, and probably more dangerous than either of them had anticipated, they were about to break up a bachelorette party.


None of their training had ever told them what to do in this situation. Twenty frenzied women…Starsky looked to his partner for guidance but found none.


One giggling woman came running up to the tall blond, her hands instantly running up and down his modest chest. “What’d the agency do, send reinforcements?” She asked as others looked her way.


Hutch quickly grabbed her hands to try and restrain her from molesting him further. “N…no ma’am…I’m a police officer.” The blond looked up at his partner for help, but found none. Starsky was trying hard to control the roar of laughter building inside of him.


“So was he,” the woman informed him as she pointed to the nearly naked man in the middle of the room. “At least that is what he was pretendin’ to be.”


“Wanna help me out here, Starsk?” Hutch pled. What are friends for, come on buddy, get these women off of me.


“Looks like you’re doin’ just fine, Blintz.” Starsky laughed, next think he knew he felt at least four hands on his back, moving up and down in a soothing fashion. He looked over his shoulder to see two women, their eyes hungry as they tried to help the brunet off with his jacket. He looked back at his partner, this time it was his eyes that were pleading for help.


“Come on Sugar, it’s a bachelorette party, we need more men…” Another woman shouted out as the others joined in agreement.


“Looks like you’re doin’ just fine.” Hutch snorted as he sidestepped and moved his body, twisting out of her grasp and headed for the door.


Hutch reached the door, opening it and rushing into the hallway, looking back briefly to see his friend disappear in a sea of frantic women. The blonde’s shirt was rumpled, his hair messy and he was out of breath but thankful to have gotten away with his …um … dignity in tact, not sure if his partner will be as lucky.


He was met with Henry, who ran to his aide, an obvious look of concern on his face. “Are you okay officer? D…d…do you want me to call for back-up?”


Hutch looked back at the door from which he just came, the noises inside increased and it sounded like it was close to getting out of control. Hutch contemplated Henry’s offer, the call playing out in his mind…


‘All units, all units…officer down…officer down…respond code 3…Zebra 3 is victim of 243…’


Hutch shook his head, Starsky would never forgive him, to leave his partner hanging was one thing, but to broadcast it was another.


“Nah Henry…there’s no need for that…everything’s fine…” Hutch patted the nerdy man on his shoulder, nearly knocking him to the ground. Our Father who art in heaven…please protect my partner…The blond said his silent prayer.


Hutch stood and turned back around to face the apartment, he took a deep breath, preparing himself to go back in, get his partner at all costs, and make a run for it. He and Starsky were not in the habit of running from trouble, but he and Starsky were also not faced with this kind of trouble before, and right now, that seemed like the only option. Just as he was about to open the door, it was jerked open from the other side.


A frazzled out of breath Starsky looked up at the tall blond. “Ya’ left me…” He said in shock as he hooked his thumb behind him and then looked at Henry, “He left me, my own partner left me…” He looked back at Hutch, “An’ I thought we were partners…” he said dejectedly as he made his way into the hall walking up to Henry, “Can you believe this guy?”


Hutch looked at his partner as he walked past him, “You thought it was pretty funny when I was the one in trouble.” The blond reminded him.


“Yeah? Well at least I didn’t leave you in there, those women are crazy.” Starsky leaned closer to his partner, whispering, “They touched me places, I didn’t even know existed.”  He confided in his friend as he tried to button back up his shirt to find several of his buttons no longer present so he finally gave up, letting his hands fall to his side.


“Aren’t you gonna shut them down?” Henry asked, irritated with the lack of action he received from Bay City’s finest.


Starsky and Hutch looked at each other then over at the noisy apartment, weighing their options. Starsky walked up to the small man, tipping his head, raising his eyebrow at the complainant. “Look mister, “he pointed back to the apartment, “that’s the closest I’ve ever come to losing my…” he looked at Hutch and then back, “…my virtue…an’ I don’t know about you, but I really don’t think their all that loud. I ain’t goin’ back in there, we’re homicide detectives, if someone in there dies, then feel free to give us a call back, but until then.I suggest you be a good boy and go back to your apartment, shut an’ lock the door, and call your mother!”


Starsky fumed as he tried his best to regain his composure and stormed out of the building, a chuckling Hutch quick on his partners’ heels.


Henry looked back at the object of his irritation and slowly walked towards the door, listening briefly, before slowly pushing the door open and entering, peeling off his flannel bathrobe as he shut the door behind him.



The End